My paradigms and my Drive (SIGHT & START)

          

                This question has been on my mind for sometimes, after so much pondering I concluded that as humans, we are all made to be significant in our respective circles. The purpose for work may differ in different people but there is a common denominator we possess in each of us regardless of our position on the social stratification chain.

                Everyone wants to make a difference but idly have we asked ourselves for a moment, how do I wanna make that difference and why? What’s the driving force, what are my motivations, my paradigms towards the way I wanna make such a gigantic difference? The purpose for a thing may sometimes nullify or better still negate the effect or advantages of that thing, I mean if you wanna buy a house in Beverly hills- would you go rob the bank? Here we are gonna be looking at the reason for our motivations towards some certain actions which tilts especially towards wealth creation and financial acquisition.

                There are so many driving force depending on your world-view but I see them divided into basically three which are:

·         PAIN

·         GAIN

·         GIVE

PAIN: This can be described as a somatic sensation of acute discomfort, pain is an emotion that can be described with so many synonyms which include ail, anguish, annoyance, botheration, hurt, infliction, irritation, nuisance, pain in the neck, trouble etc. it is a logic of fear and avoidance. When the needs of an individual are met through the threats of lack of abundance necessary for survival, that person keeps fighting to get out of that position of discomfort which relatively lasts as long as he or she is out of the discomfort zone. Unfortunately people on this tier are either poor or in the middle-class. All they ask for is just some breath of fresh air, some form of convenience and nothing more. They are motivated by the fear of pain which inflicts more injury than pain itself.

GAIN: If you call gain another pearl to you neck you’re not far from it. Gain is described as a logic of acquisition. You can also say deriving benefits from something pleasurable. Like the first there are so many synonyms you can describe this with like; acquire, addition, advance, amplification, attain, benefit, derive, earn, increase, profit, win etc. Here there is a desire more than the basic necessities of life (i.e. food, clothing and shelter). When the need revolves around the desire to have more of something that is not necessary for our survival. Many of the rich and a few middle class reside in this zone. There is a strong passion to have a little more and yet a little more and the thirst for more never stops. According to Adam smith, “Human wants is insatiable”. But the individuals in this tier have their passions burning, if the equation is still balanced.

GIVE: The give zone is a very wonderful realm, only a few in our society ever gets to this zone, some statistics says 3-10% some 12% but everywhere you find yourself this little group of people are not just distinguished because of their purse but their motivation. They are the ones who are the most influential in many social structures because they derive their drive from contributing to the development of any organisation they find themselves. They’ve cultivated an attitude of giving back to the society. The reason why they acquire wealth is to give most especially because they can fend for themselves regardless of what economic laws are been passed. Their motivation is to see that human lives are been empowered not necessarily in times of financial or monetary empowerment.

Give is the logic of meaning and fulfilment. It represents the fundamental desire to contribute to the accomplishment of something outside ourselves. This level of motivation can elicit the deepest human energies, and lasts as long as the purpose is considered worthy of our effort. Many of the great changes throughout history were powered by causes people believed in and were willing to make sacrifices for in order to achieve.

So dear readers whatever the nature of our desire or motive for learning is, they will impact how we function.

When people operate out of fear, what they see, the things they do, the results they get, and their evaluation of those results will be different than if they went through the same process based on the desire to achieve a great purpose. So what are your paradigms, how do you see the world, what are your beliefs and your belief systems. In terms of human performance, the higher up the continuum, the more effective and enduring the motivation will be.

I close with this, whatever you do; Live, Love and Learn. Thanks

The Fourteen Minutes

The number fourteen is so mysterious I often wonder why it’s so downplayed on the number line, the number fourteen has so many beautiful attributes that we hardly notice it. I don’t know maybe it’s for people in my age group or the elderly, if you don’t notice the super power behind fourteen. it’s not for you then because it’s for teens not for other things. The number fourteen is twice the number seven, the number seven is a symbol for perfection. It means perfect or complete but here perfection is more desirable. So we have the meaning to be twice perfect which makes it so unbelievably unique and magical.

The adventure into fourteen can start right at the tip of my finger round the whole world and back, but pardon me am not going to be discussing about fourteen but something close; fourteen minutes.

What?

Yeah fourteen minutes,

                I know you read this long to find out I would be talking about fourteen minutes, but within fourteen minutes a life making/marring decision can be made, an ostrich egg can be boiled, Michael Jackson thriller video was fourteen minutes, and it takes fourteen minutes or less to read this post(don’t check the time). You don’t know which fourteen minutes hang between you and your big dream.

                In the first fourteen minutes of the day you decide what and what you want to do, it determines how productive you will be as the day will be coming bye. Productive people align their day in fourteen minutes and ponder on how to come by them in another minute, do some morning stretches and say a little prayer. Similar to athlete’s productive people use visualizations to picture positive images of success in the mind. They mentally rehearse and practise what they have to do and program their subconscious mind toward it.

                For very good writers fourteen minutes is enough to write something beautiful and other amateurs take fifteen minutes. A poet and creative writer Katherine Black once said: “write without editing in your journal for fifteen minutes or less every day. It will change your life” just writing whatever comes to mind just like I am, think stream of consciousness for fifteen minutes without stopping and it will help you in the following:

·         Help you find your voice.

·         Reveal things about yourself.

·         Get you into the habit of writing.

·         Lessen your fear of blank sheets.

·         Allows you to tap into your subconscious.

There are so many things you can do in fourteen minutes or less, why don’t you take some time and explore all you can achieve in such a beautiful space of time you would always afford but never replace. Fourteen minutes are sometimes for teen minutes. Play, do something radical and controversial, random and unpredictable. You don’t know what opportunity you’d have to do that again, Live Love and Learn. Thank you.

Am not as smart as before...

Good day dear readers, welcome to a new week of another sizzling edition of CORE-man SENSE^TM this week.

                Do you realise how smart you were in your teenage days and early twenties. Can you compare how smart you were then to now? I guess not. You can’t even count how many times you forgot your child or spouse’s birthday (My Bad!!). Have the thought of this ever crossed your mind? Well, am not saying you need a mental help, but I guess you need to check the reason for this action.

                Our brain is a super machine that is programmed by the infinite divinity that keeps information that last through our life time, the brain is also that part of the central nervous system that includes all the higher nervous centres; enclosed within the skull; continuous with the spinal cord. Yeah, I don’t mean to go too far in neurology on you but let’s just look at some important terminologies that will help us in our episode today.

Neurons: Neurons are cells that control your central nervous system: your brain and spinal column, and the nerves connected to them. They send and receive electro-chemical signals to and from the brain and nervous system.

Synapses: are tiny gaps between the neurons in your brain.

                The neurons are neatly packed and spaced in the brain with synapses which when functioning well makes the neurons communicate with each other in lightning speed up to 200mph. a typical neuron has up to 1000-10000 synapses while there are 100 billion neurons in the brain relatively there are 1 quadrillion synapses in the brain (in case you didn’t get that fifteen zeros behind one). It looks like there are a whole lot of synapses to spare but interestingly we lose them as we advancing in age which makes us deteriorate in brain function, so to have a better brain function we need a strong synaptic bonding and increased number of synapses.

                Having said so much, the good news is that we can have a sound mind by taking cognisance of our cognitive health by same healthy steps we take to have an healthy body but maybe a few more which we would look into like:

·         Reduced stress.

·         Increased intake of fruits and veggies.

·         Controlled high blood pressure.

·         Regular aerobic exercise.

·         Reduced concentration of oxidants.

·         Stay curious.

·         Getting mental simulation.

Mental stimulation of any kind can have positive effects on warding off memory problems and other declines in cognitive function. And lack of stimulation is a serious factor in mental decline meaning we all need an adequate dose of stimulation to get going in increasing our brain function. For you to a stimulation it has to be something that excites you or you love passionately. For some its Sudoku while others chess. Your brain needs to be kept in a constant mood of functioning i.e a mental marathon. If you have some pending activities that you love but have not being making time out to do for a long time, you can make it your stimulation. Here is what well and sequenced stimulation can do for you; the quote of a columnist in a New England magazine 2002:

Participation in leisure activities is associated with a reduced risk of development of dementia, both Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. The reduction in risk is related to the frequency of participation. According to our models, for example, elderly persons who did crossword puzzles four days a week . . . had a risk of dementia that was 47 percent lower than that among subjects who did puzzles once a week . . .

                I bet you wanna try some stimulations now to see how efficient you are and thereby increase your proficiency in puzzles, riddles and other stimulation. Here is a quick one for you, Enjoy!!!

1		2	3	4	5			6		7
		8
	9					10		11
12						13
			14					15	16
17	18	19						20
21							22
23					24	25			26
27			28
29		30					31	32	33
		37

                                                                                                                    

ACROSS

1.       Remove (9)

8. Music (4)

9. More than one garbage container (4)

11.   Part of the body (3)

12.   Angry (5)

13.   Morning (2)

14.   Fabric (4)

15.   Container (3)

17.   A small hotel(3)

20.   Visual (3)

21.   Storage facility (5)

22.   Mama ____ (4) a Nigerian food court.

23.   Power to perceive things (3).

24.   Abbreviation For Dean of students affairs.(3)

26.   Initials for Elliot the novelist. (2)

27.   Egyptian sun god with the head of a hawk (2)

28.   A young turkey (5)

29.   Insert (4)

31.   Many years (3)

34.   Night active (9).

DOWN

1.       An Islamic terrorist group. (4)

2.       Legal tender (5).

3.       Spontaneous (7).

4.       International code for Nigeria (2)

5.       Part of the body (3)

9         Blood pressure (2)

10.   A glass sheet (4)

12. Cosmos (8)

15. United States of America (3)

16.   Relax (4)

18.    Related to the nose (5)

19.    Nuptials (3)

22. Care for (5)

25.   Performance of two singers (4)

26.   A terrorist group formed in Peru in the late 1960s (2)

28. Please turn over (3)

30. Switch __ (2)

32. Put __ (2).

33. Not Available (2).

Conflict Management (The Seal)

Welcome to another beautiful edition of CORE-man SENSE^TM, we are so excited to bring you this continuing episode of our conflict management series. Today, we will be looking at the conflict management styles assumed by different individuals. These management styles are the particular pattern we choose to adopt when in a conflict. They are the five major styles we engage in randomly, considering the influence of the factors given in the earlier edition which are; How to achieve our personal goal and How to keep a good relationship. In no particular order they are:

v  THE TURTLE (WITHDRAWING): The turtle is an animal that withdraws into its shell when faced by adversity, it doesn’t like to be challenged or opposed in any way possible. They are mostly cool, calm and collected. They run away from trouble at the very smell of it, they can give up personal goal or relationship when challenged by conflicts or by a conflicting individual.

v  THE SHARK (CONFRONTING): The shark is a fish known for attacking its prey with its powerful set of jaws and chisel like teeth, they are not intimidated by any animal of any size, and their pride is in their victories. They overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their own ways of resolving a conflict. They achieve their goals at all cost which makes them selfish. They prioritise their personal goals more than any existing relationship. In the shark’s school of thought He believes you either win or lose, and this makes them never accept defeat because it reduces their self-esteem. Their pride is in their achievement of overwhelming others, intimidating others, overpowering and oppressing others. Losing for them is a sense of failure, inadequacy and weakness. A shark wants nothing less than a victory.

v  THE TEDDY BEAR (SMOOTHING): The bear is known as an animal that loves to be cuddled, they are friendly animal that would go all the way for you after you’ve proven yourself. Once the trust factor is well established, it doesn’t care how far it has to go. The bear sometimes forget or regard their personal goals less because of existing relationships. The teddy wants to be accepted and loved by all, they believe you can’t discuss conflicts without stepping on people’s toes especially those they love which can ruin their relationship, so they avoid it for peace and harmony’s sake. The teddy smoothens every conflict by giving up their goals and let you have your way for the sake of peace.

v  THE FOX (COMPRPOMISING): The fox is a very cunny animal as you know, it loves to sacrifice something for the bigger good of its want. Hmmnnn, sly fox. They would compromise on the factors they have at hand to resolve a conflict, the fox can easily let go of part of their personal goals and part of their relationship in compromise of getting whatever they really want (which is a common good), also persuading you to give up some of yours too. Their relationships and goals are moderately important so they tend to bridge the gap between the extremes of absolute goals and absolute relationship.

v  THE OWL (CONFRONTING): The owl is a nocturnal bird that would readily face up to its challenges seeing conflicts as problems that should be readily solved and in the bid to resolve conflict they end up providing a solution that expends both their goals and the those of those close to them. They see conflicts as a means of improving relationships between two individuals or groups by reducing tension among them by trying to iron them out through discussion to identify the cause of the conflict and proffering solutions that favours both themselves and others. They are not satisfied till all conflicts have been fully resolved which favours both their own personal goals and others.

Sometimes, we under estimate what conflicts are really all about. For me, conflict should be constructive. They should give you a drive towards what your priorities are, they can foster change in our thinking pattern also. Conflicts could really be of great value when properly and skilfully managed. Being in conflicts sparks off curiosity which in turn makes life more interesting, a life without challenges is nothing but a replayed video game. Conflicts makes us aware of the presence of problems in our relationships that needs to be solved. Conflicts can be fun too especially when they are not taken all too seriously for example in competitive sports, teasers and puzzles e.t.c.

So conflicts helps us get better in our everyday life depending on what angle we are glancing from. If the members of a group gets better in their relationship, have greater work output, stronger bond in their relationships, if the group are content with the contribution of one another in a project (even when it’s not totally even), if they trust each other because trust is the key or pillar of any relationship then you can square your shoulders and beat your chest in confidence to say that the conflict was constructive.

        We all experience conflicts every day because we are humans, you can manage it perfectly depending on the way you approach it, so with this conflict management styles I hope you get the best out of every conflict as you make them constructive enough for your good. Remember at CORE-man SENSE^TM we value your effectiveness and happiness. Feel free to comment and write back to us. Don’t forget to join us in our next edition. Thank you.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Good day, and Welcome to another new episode of CORE-man SENSE^TM which promises to be wonderful. Today we’ll be looking at conflict management. Conflict management is a phenomenon that is part of our everyday lives and we seldom don’t pay rapt attention to or we absolutely neglect due to ignorance. In conflict management we examine what we do when conflicting situations arise and how to get the best out of it, they considerably favour two major things which are:

·         How to achieve our personal goal.

·         How to keep a good relationship.

Majority of times, what we do during conflict management are unplanned and sometimes unlearned i.e. many people don’t know why they act the way they do until they’ve done so. Many conflict management strategies are learnt from childhood unknowingly especially where I come from where powerful proverbs and metaphors are being used to carve a niche in your behavioural pattern. Painfully, some of the proverbs we assume are not totally empowering. They create a set-back to the way we act and react to some extreme situations because many of this proverbs where coined as a result of another situation well thought of by un-learned or semi-learned men with traditional wisdom and no sheer juxtaposition with the empirical.

Here are a few proverbs that have been used by many over the years for resolving and managing conflict, you can score yourself on the scale of 1-5 indicating how typical each proverb is of your actions. Please read carefully.

                                5 = very typical of the way I act in a conflict.

                                4 = frequently typical of the way I act in a conflict.

                                3 = sometimes typical of the way I act in a conflict.

                                2 = seldom typical of the way I act in a conflict.

                                1 = never typical of the way I act in a conflict.

Ø  Soft words win hard hearts.

Ø  You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours too.

Ø  When two quarrel, the person who keeps silent first is the most praiseworthy.

Ø  Might overcomes right.

Ø  Smooth words makes sweet ways.

Ø  Half a loaf is better than no bread.

Ø  Truth lies in knowledge not in majority opinion.

Ø  It is easier to refrain than to retreat from a quarrel.

Ø  Come now and let us reason together.

Ø  He who fights and run away lives to fight another day.

Ø  He hath conquered well that hath made his enemies flee.

Ø  Kill your enemies with kindness.

Ø  Stay away from people who disagree with you.

Ø  Fields are won by those who believe in winning.

Ø  A fair exchange brings no quarrel.

Ø  Frankness, honesty and trust will move mountains.

Ø  There are two kinds of people in the world, winners and losers.

Ø  The best way of handling conflict is to avoid them.

Ø  Tit for tat is fair play.

Ø  Put your foot where you mean to stand.

Ensure to note, that the higher your score; the more frequent you use that strategy for conflicts and like situations and the lower it is, the less frequent you apply that strategy. Join us in our next edition, as we will be examining the styles of conflict management and how constructive can conflicts be? We’ll be looking forward to your comments. Thank you.

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